The adage “youth is wasted on the young” (from George Bernard Shaw) raises two issues. (1) Often, it is driven by adult regrets and a presumption that the person has reached a stage in life where it is too late to change things (the feeling of irreversability being the issue). (2) If we truly feel this way, what actions are we taking to ensure children realize their full potential?
We’re going to address the second issue today.
Often, children and young adults are not fully cognizant of the sacrifices required to attain their goals. Or, more to the point, are not aware that the number of doors open to them – available opportunities – become fewer with their progression of decisions.
How do we help our children from realizing such regrets? It might be impossible to live fully regret-free lives, but, our children’s steps on that path can begin through our own introspection. What would have made a difference for you?
One answer might be that you didn’t have an opportunity to evaluate your goals and consider the consequences honestly and comprehensively. A common unrealized dream is to have been an artist or writer. But, others are to have been inventors, scientists or mathematicians. And, a common reason for not having pursued these dreams is financial insecurity.
To help your child, help him evaluate his goals. Start by identifying what his long term goals are.
Not just career goals, but, what he would like out of life?
What would give him a sense of fulfillment?
What is his ultimate goal?
What is he trying to attain with his goals?
Where will he want to be at different stages of his life, including at the end of a long life?
What will he want to experience?
And then help him prioritize his goals.
Will money be more important than a sense of accomplishment?
Which of the goals make him most happy?
Then, walk through the possible paths or decisions that will enable him to realize his dream. Identify those that might maximize his potential for realizing the most or highest priority goals, and what steps he can take to leave as many doors open as possible on the way.
For example, if he wants to be an inventor but is worried about financial instability, then suggest pursuing a field in green architecture – it provides an opportunity to test new ideas in a mature field. Likewise, if he wants to be a musician, but is concerned about financial stability, then, encourage him to participate in music-based activities while attending law school.
Also, be practical about the consequences his decisions will have on pursuing his other goals. For example, if your child wants to be a doctor and write, he might need to set writing aside until he’s a practicing doctor, and he might need to set his medical practice aside in order to write.
